At BIG Images, our street has notoriously horrible parking. Walking a block (or just biking from our houses) isn’t too much hassle for the people who work here, but sometimes people park in our parking lot and go to other businesses nearby rather than walking a block themselves. If they ask us if it’s cool, we pretty much give them the go-ahead, never mind that we have signs saying “PARKING FOR BIG IMAGES AND iii DESIGN” right in front of every parking spot.
Heck, sometimes people even stop and leave their car fully blocking the driveway. That really grinds my gears.
My mind often fills with possible avenues of revenge:
- Slapping a few BIG Images stickers and letting them advertise for us around town, you know, as a trade for our inconvenience.
- We have a giant slab of styrofoam that looks an awful lot like a boulder. We just pick it up and set it behind their car.
Friday a “gentleman” in a gigantic Ford F250 blocked our driveway to go next door. Completely blocked.
I wrote a note on a piece of paper saying,
“Please be more considerate to others. Respectfully, BIG Images and iii Design”
and stuck it under his windshield.
A few minutes later, he walked out to his jerkmobile, grabbed the note, and yelled back at the shop, “next time I’m going to block the entire f***ing driveway!” before peeling away. What a class act.
I forgot for a while that not everything I touch turns to gold.
I know, I know, better call the waah-mbulance, but here’s my official bitchfest:
- Yesterday was so hot here, my computer just died about 6 or 7 times. I finally realized it was overheating. I’m not looking forward to any more warm weather now that it’s officially Women’s Press crunch-time.
- I gave back my Powerbook G4 this morning; the company had a better place for it, and since I got a new iMac for my desk at work, it wasn’t entirely necessary. It’s okay, I think I still get visitation rights. Since I only have my PC, which works occasionally in a heat wave, I’m a little freaked.
- The warmer weather has brought the bugs into my home, and with bugs come bug bites. I’ve started taking my Centrum, but not soon enough to stop the dozen or so bites on my arms last night.
- My sister went missing this morning, gone before my mother woke up, and after 12 hours of non-stop worrying, we found her again. During that time, all manner of awful things ran through my head, and, hoping against hope, Nicole spent a good portion of her day checking the train station, to see if she came up here on a whim. After only hearing the ten second version of why, I am forced to conclude two things:
- My sister is one of the bravest people I’ve ever met, to face her fears and problems and let others in to be there with her, and
- I am officially pissed off at mankind.
Last night, Nicole and I went to a fabulous dinner at the Paso Robles Inn and then followed it up with a refreshing soak in the Paso Robles Hot Springs. It was great; we looked great and had great fun. I know I don’t get many chances to dress up. And so, I wore a white button-up shirt I think I haven’t worn since high school.
I believe my exact words at dinner were “It feels like I’m getting strangled ever so slowly by a precocious midget.” After unbuttoning the top button, I just felt like I had something stuck in my throat. It didn’t go away, no matter how hard I tried to cough it up, and then at 2 this morning I woke up and it was nearly unbearable. In addition to the sore throat, I started getting the chills… Seriously, the “something in my throat” seemed like it grew into a family of four, inhabiting my throat.
So, I took the day off of work, which is neat, but I really wish I could be there. And the day seems like it’s nap, watch Buffy and Angel, and hydrate us to the poor house.
Here’s another thing: people say “Yeah, it’s going around.” How do they know? Perhaps I have too small of a sample size to figure that out, given I probably am around less than a dozen people in my day, but seriously.
Batman: The Animated Series was amazing. It was as visually impressive as it was deep and rich in plot. I don’t think I knew how good we had it. Until now.
You see, a couple nights ago I managed to stumble across an episode of The Batman. It’s the new anime-inspired cartoon that seems to take a lot of it’s cues from the Adam West live-action Batman series, particularly in it’s puns.
And these are serious turbo puns. For example, Mr. Freeze is walking down the street after he’s just robbed a bank. It’s the hottest night of the year in Gotham City, but he’s making it snow. He stops and says, to no one in particular mind you, “Baby, it’s cold outside.”
Batman ends up catching pneumonia after getting frozen solid by Mr. Freeze. Once Alfred suits him up in a “weather-proof” Batsuit, Batsy decides it’s time to let the poetry flow. What does he say? “Let it snow.”
The worst part about it is how they neutered Mr. Freeze’s character. He’s no longer a scientist who is fighting to keep his wife alive in a cryogenic chamber. No, he’s just a bank robber. A bank robber who blames Batman for making him fall into a cryogenic tank and get electrocuted at the same time. This turns his blood into, *cough cough*, electric ice particles. I don’t think I’m creative enough to come up with stuff like that.
And one last scene; Mr. Freeze ends up robbing a cruise ship in Gotham Harbor, where all the debutantes are holding some kind of ball. He says to a couple of hapless victims, “Just hand me the ice.” When they give him a puzzled look, he says, “Think about it.” And then he snaps off their giant silver necklaces. Jumping off the side of the ship, he tells the captain, “Have an ice evening.”
And so, dear reader, I weep, for the end is most certainly nigh.
So, I’m very very sorry if you came to my blog earlier and found… well… anything somewhere between a blank screen and a screenful of coder gobbledygook. Turns out I broke WordPress when I thought I was upgrading it.
Tip for everyone, including myself: TURN OFF ALL PLUGINS BEFORE UPGRADING WORDPRESS. I seriously hope I’ve learned my lesson.
In other apologies: the last week or two, I’ve been trying to work up the courage to call an advertiser for the Women’s Press back and apologize to her for how I treated her on the phone. Suffice it to say, it was nearing press time for the paper, and I was nearing the end of my rope when she asked me to do some simple changes to her ad. Basically, I feel like I was a jackass. I’m meaning to call her up any day now and apologize.
We’ll see how that goes.
Today I’ve had a hard time concentrating… and as a Wednesday, particularly when Women’s Press goes to press next Wednesday, this is not a good time to be distracted.
This morning, Nicole and I returned from walking Apollo to find Clawed sitting calmly on our front porch. Now, this was weird because we don’t let him outside. Turns out that he pushed open the screen from our bedroom window and fell about 7 feet onto asphalt. Long story short, he fractured his hawx, which is roughly equivalent to your ankle. He’s going to be under wrap for a couple weeks, and he’s spending the night at the hospital.
I guess I’m just overly sensitive, but this sort of thing scares the hell out of me. What’s going to happen down the road when I’m a father?
Get well, Clawed.
So, this morning we got the mail at work, and in it was the Dell catalog. Seeing as I’m the only one in the office who has a PC, the bosses handed it to me. Take a serious look at the advertisement I found in it for Intel. I really wonder how many people in the company this ad went past, because it makes me worry about the state of the ad department of Intel and Dell.
Don’t see it? Really? Cause it seriously looks like a bunch of African Americans in an office bowing in submission to the white devil – I mean boss. And every black man is a carbon copy of the others, because after all, “it’s tough to tell them apart.” Reading some of the text doesn’t make things any better: this “40% more performance” is a little bit lower of a deal than the 3/5’s Rule… and all this in the 21st century, where racial equality is a paragon we try to hold ourselves to.
Maximize the power of your employees, indeed.
UPDATE: Please DIGG this!
Thursday, SpiderMan passed on. No, not the comic book character, but our mouse. This is a couple of months after his archnemesis, Doc Ock, our other mouse, was defeated in what we’re pretty certain was a supreme battle of good vs. evil.
It’s kinda hitting me harder than I thought it should. I guess I just have this feeling that we didn’t spend any time hanging out with him, really, you know, bringing him into our world. We tried that once, but the puppy tried to eat him.
I walked out to my bike at the beginning of my lunch break, only to find my flash drive on the ground and my keys still in my bike lock. They had been sitting there for nearly 4 hours. Luckily people don’t typically walk around where I work, otherwise they’d have a new bike and flash drive.
During lunch, I found a bird had gotten trapped in our laundry room, flapping against the window trying to get out, even though there was an open doorway three feet behind it. I threw a towel over my hands and gently grabbed it. After I carried it a good five feet into open air and let it go, I realized something. I don’t think I’ve been more proud of anything I’ve done in the last week than that simple act.