Lindsay Lo-ham

So, Lindsay Lohan was in SLO last week, filming her new movie, I Know Who Killed Me, which has got to be in the running for worst movie title ever.

She was filming scenes at SLO High and on Higuera St. in the middle of downtown, and so they had to shut down Higuera for almost a day of filming. They shut down the area with some of the best shopping in the area the day before Valentine’s Day. That’s right, on February 13th, no one could shop at Fanny Wrappers or even Bath and Body Works.

Now, supposedly, they would have shot these scenes a month earlier, but she’s been in alcohol rehab (and she’s still just shy of 21! But that’s a whole other rant). So, because of rehab, they pushed the date back and Hollywood had no concept of a pretty darned important shopping day.

I guess Lindsay Lohan is the reason Justin Timberlake had to bring the sexy back. It’s all making sense to me now…

Five Releases I’d like to see on the VC: NES

Last week, Red posted a dissertation on Why Anyone Would Buy a Wii, which basically amounted to thus: you would buy it ’cause it’s awesome. Today, I’d like to focus on a list of games I would love to buy on the Virtual Console. Now, I completely believe that these games will probably NEVER come out on the Virtual Console, just because I think I’m one of the few people in the world that even remember games like To The Earth, but this is my wishlist, and I can wish for whatever I want, damnit.

  1. Super Spike V’Ball: I buy Virtual Console games mainly for one reason: multi-player. And a little known fact is that there were a handful of four-player games developed for the Nintendo, basically needing an adapter to plug four controllers into it. I LOVE Bomberman ’93 that they’ve thrown in on the VC from the Turbographx 16, mainly because it is FIVE player. Anyhow, V’Ball was awesome, and everywhere I look, this seems to be the only four player game worth playing that was developed for the Nintendo. I want it. Bad.
  2. Pin*Bot and High Speed: It’s no lie that these two games are the best and most innovative video pinball games ever released. They’re just so much FUN. The VC’s recent release of Alien Crush for the Turbographix 16 is awesome, but it doesn’t approach the feeling you get when your ball suddenly morphs into a cube, and has appropriate physics to boot. I don’t understand why every other pinball video game I’ve ever played is just a vague shadow of the greatness of these games, and in most cases, just suck.
  3. Deja Vu: Recently, there’s been a lot of talk about a recent game on the Nintendo DS called Hotel Dusk: Room 215 which is, essentially an interactive mystery novel. Every time I read an article about that game, it makes me think of Deja Vu my favorite game that could be a novel ever. And a little bit of tweaking to the interface could make it truly a point-and-click adventure using the Wiimote. I want this game, but only if they do it right.
  4. To the Earth: I’m probably not the only one to wonder why there hasn’t been any emulation of the Nintendo’s zapper in the Wiimote yet, and that there hasn’t been any Duck Hunt. Well, another Nintendo shooter game was To The Earth which was a helluvalottafun, but also gut-blisteringly difficult. Basically, you use the zapper to shoot down incoming spaceships, and most spaceships would require multiple hits to take down. It was fast, it was difficult, but it was also a late-night addiction of mine.
  5. Metal Storm: Sure, it’s just your typical side-scrolling action game, but you can reverse gravity at the punch of a button. It’s more addictive than you may think.

The February BIG Images Newsletter

Another month has passed, and for our second newsletter at BIG Images, I decided to up the ante a bit. I forget where it was, but recently I read an article criticizing modern pseudo-journalism, like blogs and the like, for not having enough illustrations… not counting A List Apart or Daytrotter, of course. Illustrations run rampant in other media, why not online journals, especially corporate ones? Have we found ourselves so lazy with the ease of publishing online that we’re no longer willing to go the extra step and do things right? That’s definitely what’s happened with this blog recently, I suppose. I just haven’t had the time to scour the Library of Congress website for awesome photos.

And so, in an effort to regain lost blog credibility, and flex my graphic design skills, I approached the challenge with determination and gusto. One of my first acts was to reduce my color palette to only ten colors, mostly shades of green with very little saturation. My second act was to sprinkle awesome liberally.

7 steps - Font Size

My article
was the first I illustrated, as a sort of proof-of-concept to myself and my bosses. I had to make sure that I made a 500px wide image look BIG.
The Sales Team

This one was tough, given that I didn’t have much to go on, other than Ken’s title “The Sales Team” and the fact that he wanted to make some kind of sports analogy. And although I know that Ken hates American Football, I couldn’t keep away from this image, of helmets lined in a row ready to be plucked by eager sweaty… salesmen.

Not quite the first idea I had, but a fitting one nevertheless. Initial sketches were too far away from this idea to really focus on, but I loved illustrating the stance and the light coming down on the fighters… Fun fun fun.

Solvent vs. Aqueous

And now, how the heck do I illustrate ink? By doing an abstract soothing piece, I suppose.

We’ve had a lot of good reactions come from the latest newsletter, which you can see here. I can’t wait for next month, the color issue. It’s gonna be rad.

Single Awareness Day, a Recap

Sometimes, three or four great ideas collide all at once, producing a massive spectacle that is sure to back up the 101 for miles upon miles. This time the four ideas were, in no particular order:

  • Valentine’s Day is difficult. There’s nowhere to eat and very little to do that isn’t infested with googly-eyed, well-dressed people. Blech.
  • Single Awareness Day coincides with most celebrations of Valentine’s Day.
  • Why celebrate two different holidays on the same day?
  • Don’t we know a few single people that are probably not doing much on a Wednesday night?

So, Nicole and I had our Valentine’s Day last Saturday. It started out as a bit of a disaster, because I phoned in an order for food from North China in Santa Maria, and didn’t call to cancel when I decided to not drive an hour on account of the rain. To keep this story short, it ended up well enough with Nicole’s family enjoying a “free” meal for three, and we ended up going to Orchesis, a dance recital at Cal Poly. It was pretty darned awesome, but unfortunately it ended just a few minutes after 10, otherwise we would have walked to the theater building next door to see the stand-up comedy show at Smile and Nod. Instead we went home and checked out a couple episodes of Buffy. Totally romantic, I know.

Anyhow, on Wednesday, we had a totally laid back evening enjoying the company of some of our favorite people who are not shackled to the… atmosphere surrounding togetherness. Nicole and I staged a mock fight, and spent the night pretending to make each other jealous. And we laughed and joked around a game of Apple Crack.

And it totally took the edge off of the pressures of a “forced” holiday celebration. It got me thinking about other holidays, and what if there could be a Christmas that truly was just about spending time with the people we call family. Or even, celebrating times like that when we can, and not necessarily tethered to a date on a calendar. Think of it. No massive crowds of people at the mall. No major rush of people traveling thousands of miles. Just a relaxing day not dealing with people we don’t know and don’t want to deal with.

Eh. Perhaps it’s just science fiction.

Laying down the law… less.

So, my boss Ken and I are helping out this woman today at BIG images. We’re suggesting things she can do to make the image she’s brought us printable.

She asks, “if I make it larger, won’t that just make it too huge?”

I look her in the eye, and I tell her, “ma’am, we deal with huge on a daily basis.”

The One Girl at the Boys’ Party

The One Girl at the Boys’ Party
by Sharon Olds

When I take my girl to the swimming party
I set her down among the boys. They tower and
bristle, she stands there smooth and sleek,
her math scores unfolding in the air around her.
They will strip to their suits, her body hard and
indivisible as a prime number,
they’ll plunge in the deep end, she’ll subtract
her height from ten feet, divide it into
hundreds of gallons of water, the numbers
bouncing in her mind like molecules of chlorine
in the bright blue pool. When they climb out,
her ponytail will hang its pencil lead
down her back, her narrow silk suit
with hamburgers and french fries printed on it
will glisten in the brilliant air, and they will
see her sweet face, solemn and
sealed, a factor of one, and she will
see their eyes, two each,
their legs, two each, and the curves of their sexes,
one each, and in her head she’ll be doing her
wild multiplying, as the drops
sparkle and fall to the power of a thousand from her body.

Vista demands sacrifice

So, I’m at Staples, checking out one of those shiny new laptops with Vista on it. Everything’s going good, stuff is loading, I’m double-clicking and alt-tabbing and only barely feeling the technonarcolepsy.

All of a sudden, I look down, and my right hand is covered in blood. I kid you not, my own blood. I have an open wound on my finger, and I can’t be entirely certain that Vista wasn’t to blame. Or at least, had something to gain from tasting human blood.

And so, I think we should keep a close eye on installations of Vista. If anybody thinks I’m joking, watch I Robot. Will Smith knew what I’m talking about.

Cleaning Miss Gmail

I’ve been reading a lot recently about the importance of keeping your email inbox clean. Something about it helping with never losing an email and whatever, and I’ve always been like “Shoot, foo. I totally rawk out Gmail’s search feature, yo, fo’ real!” That was a time of darkness… I had forty new messages out of 480, all stuffed within my itty-bitty-Inbox. I didn’t know what to do!

But then epiphany struck. Something had to change. And so, I spent about 30 minutes archiving and deleting, sweating and crying, pruning, bending the very internet to my will.

And so, now it’s down to single digits. I toast to this day, let’s hope it lasts.