Soon, very soon there will be changes to my site. Meaning, there will be a site there soon.

Meaning, I’m designing it right now, and it’s due before the end of the quarter…

So… It’s going to happen. Really.

“nadir”
written way back when… 02.08.01

it’s in the
gray
wreckage of my life
dangling on the edge
of that rain cloud
where i
found
the disappeared

they wouldn’t
let me
fall
through the forever glow
on the other side
of daylight

where my beacon rests
and warns
“keep
back from me
(for i can bite)
and i will break

and
it’s
a miracle
i can breathe at all”

until I bathe in sunlight

Ben.

Ben!!!

Look at me.

Everything is going to be okay, Ben. EVERYTHING is going to be OKAY.

Honestly, it’s not that bad. Just stressful.

The Swing Club website is now up and finished. Check it out here.

Sigh. And on West Wing, CJ is the new Leo. What the heck?

A cloud-strewn day outside, as if the sky was a next-day battlefield and the blood of the dead was gray. It’s cold here. I take a shower and a two-hour nap, and lay naked, buried under three layers of covers and a million thoughts of friends.

Keillen called me from Germany, his two-month old and wife in the background of a static-filled ear of sunshine. It’s been… two years? No. It couldn’t be. He, Abe and I dipped our feet in a midnight December San Diego ocean, and it was warmer than dipping feet into the hottest Central Coast day’s neverending blue. Two years.

A wife and a two month-old later. Time passed, and we’re on separate sides of the world.

This song plays through my speakers. I pause, and listen.

SpartaLines in Sand (listen to it here)

Sometimes a struggle builds you somehow
Tears you down, Leaves you dead
Time will pass, back to life
Hand on shoulders, Bigger, Better
Sunday night, Tempers flair
Fights erupt and trickle down
Apologies, threats and lies
Backing down, compromise

While this city burns
These wounds will heal.
You’ll find your way,
Though lines in sand
Become a proving ground.
In time, you’ll find
Who can top who is their life

Sometimes a struggle leaves you fragile
Shaken up, Shotgun shy
With heartache past, and open eyes
You’ll come back stronger, Bigger, Better
Maybe this time, Things will change
Brand new day, Forgive, Forget
Time has past, back to life
Hand on shoulders, Bigger, Better

Only you with time can define your life
It’s yours

So, my phone’s been acting up. Static and people not able to hear me at all and other such things. I think the worst problem it has is the text message I received at 2 in the morning from some 888 area code number. Every time I try to open it, the phone seems to really try to open it for about 5 minutes, then the phone reboots.

I ask the Cingular people what’s up, and they say “Why don’t you buy a new phone?”

And to that, I replied, “Why don’t you fix the one I have right now?”

So, an apology to everyone I haven’t called back that has been calling me. I’ll get back to you as soon as I get said new phone.

Sigh.

In my English class, we’re editing together a trailer for the movie we’ve been filming. The greatest part about all this is that we don’t necessarily have to follow the plot of the actual movie. And so, we had to write a synopsis of the movie that we created the trailer for, and here is my groups synopsis:

“The Meaning of Apricot” is as mysterious as it is powerful. Revolutionary director Zaphod Beeblebrox, our two-headed friend, brings together another drama about life, love, guns and flying fish. Our hero, young Skuke Lywalker, falls in love with a mobster’s hypochondriac daughter. Skuke’s nightmares of sleeping with the fishes comes true after a colossal gunfight and multiple bullet wounds, a flying fish intent on drowning the world, a mobster’s daughter’s misunderstood diseased love and a slimy underhanded media scandal force Skuke to cry several times and wear concrete shoes in a swimming pool.

Little do they all know that Skuke had grown gills at the age of five, and now he’s back to teach the world the truth about the meaning of Apricot.

In the trailer, we are introduced to Skuke, the daughter, the fish and the crazy anchorman by threading together their images like apricots on a vine. Or on a tree. Skuke’s recurring waterlogged nightmares are shown throughout the trailer in three different underwater scenes. There is anger, sorrow, epiphany and humor squished into one minute of goodness. With a trailer like this, you could only imagine the five and a half hour odyssey that is our film. Our trailer also shows the lead-in to the forty-five minute gun and light saber battle in Skuke’s living room, a scene that took the wizards at Industrial Light and Magic nearly three minutes to render. But above all, this is a contemplative film, one that will make every viewer walk out of the theater and into their mid-life crises, and I have to tell you, Skuke’s underwater smile at the end kills me every time. It just kills me.