So, for over a year I’ve had a dream of starting an online version of Apple Crack (or Apples to Apples, whatever you want to call it). In it’s most awesome form it’d be a place of technological wonder that would take several months to code and a crackpot team of web experts willing to debug and make it their entire life. In it’s simplest form, it’s a blog.

So, in the interest of actually finishing something I’ve started, behold! TheShork.com!

The main idea is that a series of moderators will take turns posting topics, once every two days. For two days, common people can visit the blog and comment on the topic, and after two days, comments are closed and the moderator updates the post with information on who they picked to win. Very exciting!

If you’re at all interested in being a moderator, let me know! It’s really fun and you’d only have a responsibility to post probably once a month or so.

Let the game begin!

Last night Clawed caught his fifth mouse in the last two months. I’m very proud of him except when he and I get in this grotesque tug-of-war, the wide-eyed mouse trapped between Clawed’s maw and my paper napkin. Then I just feel a little creeped out.

At BIG Images, our street has notoriously horrible parking. Walking a block (or just biking from our houses) isn’t too much hassle for the people who work here, but sometimes people park in our parking lot and go to other businesses nearby rather than walking a block themselves. If they ask us if it’s cool, we pretty much give them the go-ahead, never mind that we have signs saying “PARKING FOR BIG IMAGES AND iii DESIGN” right in front of every parking spot.

Heck, sometimes people even stop and leave their car fully blocking the driveway. That really grinds my gears.

My mind often fills with possible avenues of revenge:

• Slapping a few BIG Images stickers and letting them advertise for us around town, you know, as a trade for our inconvenience.
• We have a giant slab of styrofoam that looks an awful lot like a boulder. We just pick it up and set it behind their car.

Friday a “gentleman” in a gigantic Ford F250 blocked our driveway to go next door. Completely blocked.

I wrote a note on a piece of paper saying,

“Please be more considerate to others. Respectfully, BIG Images and iii Design”

and stuck it under his windshield.

A few minutes later, he walked out to his jerkmobile, grabbed the note, and yelled back at the shop, “next time I’m going to block the entire f***ing driveway!” before peeling away. What a class act.

Something I re-learned yesterday: sometimes when I’m cranky, I need a nap.

The answer is yes.

Sure enough, that is a canine next to Apollo, and not a mop, or a bush, or a cavernous maw into the underworld.

I don’t think I’ve been as excited about the wedding as I am now, but finding a site and picking a date kinda did that to me!

So, for all of you that want the skinny before almost everybody else, save May 2nd, 2009 for a totally face-kicking good time. We’ve put down the deposit for the Dana-Powers House, and believe me, it’s far more beautiful than the site shows.

Oh, it’s on.

What a mid-season ending. I’m still reeling. Yet again, they did it.

Too bad we have to wait for the last ten episodes till 2009! AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHH! My life force!

Wow. That’s solid parenting!

So, regardless of what the critics say, I love the new Speed Racer movie. Sure, I have an affection for the old cartoons that borders on the obscene, but gosh darnit, it’s one heck of a zany, colorful, ridiculous roller coaster ride. It had it’s laughs, and it had it’s slight twists and turns. And it had ninjas.

To be honest, I’ve never been disappointed with the Wachowski brothers’ films. Not even the third Matrix. It wasn’t what I initially wanted to see in the movie, but it was a decent movie.

I went into Speed Racer after reading some pretty scathing reviews. And they’re justified, but I have to say: the cinematography in Speed Racer is top notch. I mean, it’s an hour and a half long movie that feels like an hour long. I even teared up from the sheer mind-numbingly sugary sweet ridiculousness that was the end of the last race. Seriously, it reminded me of the end of 2001: a Space Oddysey.

So, if you have any love for the old cartoon, and even enjoy Wachowski brothers’ films, I’d say give it a shot. For me, it was as enjoyable as Iron Man, though it lacked universal appeal.

If you need a bit of refresher on how awesome Speed Racer the television show is, watch some on Hulu.